Long journey July, major strides taken.

Started with distant love of a Poet

How much he has taught.

Now it is a love affair of the soul.

No direct sight

No physical touch

Prayer this morning:

whisper blessing to Poet became

May you be DRENCHED today in blessings


Drenching turned back at me


It is a love affair of the soul

Published in: on September 2, 2010 at 7:15 am  Leave a Comment  


I fell in love with the Poet.  I keep my distance.  I study his writings.  And with each poem I fall deeper and deeper in love.

I have no idea what he looks like, what he does for food/shelter/clothing, and whether he is just a mean curmudgeon in daily life.  I have no idea whether he has left a string of broken hearts, or if he is a man deeply committed in his core to one woman.

But I am amazed at his writing.  It is unfathomable that words so graphic and heart rending in one poem, can be captivating and enlightening in the next…all structured in a fashion that exposes the cleverness and fragility of his heart.  With each of his poems, I fall further in love with him.

So in my minds eye, he is a thoughtful, quiet, clever soul.

Is that Odd for me?  Not really.  I am a wordsmith by trade.  I intently listen to the choice of words, the structure of phrases, the rhythm of communication.  Words reflect the raw sacred material of  life.  He is an expert in his craft.  His phrases strike chords deep within me.  I am in love with the unknowable Poet.

Yes, but isn’t that … Odd?  OK yes it is odd… I have fallen in love with the unknowable Poet. It is his distance and unavailability that enhances this love.  For it seems, I am much better at loving from a distance as the unknown lover.

But..are you looking directly at the…Oddity?  Ahhh…..I understand….I am not that distanced.  The poet is pointing, and I am falling in love…. with  Source within …. me.

Published in: on August 7, 2010 at 8:57 pm  Leave a Comment  


I read that each one of our senses is calibrated.  Interesting concept.  I am not a biologist… but I understand music.  Each note carries its own vibration.  If each of our senses is calibrated, then those energy waves I can discern from touch are different from the energy waves I can discern by sound.  And so it goes with each one of my senses.

I listened to Ken McLeod’s teaching on the Mahamudra.  If I understand him correctly, I can “mesh” these senses, add in awareness of thought, open my heart….. and I am present…to my life…Now.  I tried this.

I believe “faith” is how you act… Now.  I believe that spirituality cannot be an exclusively intellectual pursuit.  Who I am spiritually, whatever “ism” I identify with, must be of a nature where I place my bare feet, on my ground, in my life and actually walk in the faith of my “ism”…Now.

So I walk (barefooted so to speak) through my day… I come into contact with so many others… where I can reach out with all of my senses and discern their vibrational energy.  I try to perceive in the Now (rather than fixing this moment in my head)… and … best I can say is I am experiencing a learning curve (akin to being in school and learning how to read; or trying to order dinner in a country where I don’t know the language)

I know I have the benefit of guides, translators, mentors coming into my life, usually at just the critical moment I need them.

But I have this question:  why is it more comfortable for me to post these thoughts on a blog page… than to have this type of discussion with the Person sitting across the table from me?  Why do I think this way?  Is it spiritual practice to blog, to place these thoughts in an electronic format and hope for guidance?  Or is this just another method for me to … avoid…my life?

“All Actual Life is Encounter” Martin Buber

Blogs are unusual forum.  I suppose the concept is that there is conversation.  But can you have conversation without the usual cues, the ability to hear the tone of the words, the ability to see if you understand the communication, if the other understands you?

Written communication is not foreign  We are used to books, letters, emails.  Each involves exchange…. conversation.  As for books, a well read book is read as a conversation… but is there a chance for reply?  Letters…. time and space to read, think and then reply.  Emails… dangerous aren’t they…now EMOTION is captured in caps, and perhaps, before thinking, the response sent with broadcast copies to all.  In each of these methods…you know your author, you understand in advance the background cues, you have a potential of communicating.

But Blogs… very unusual.  There is not only the opportunity for conversation…but the opportunity to change the rules of engagement for conversation.   For example, how do you know that the author knows the subject content sufficiently to engage in conversation?  How do you understand the tenor of the conversation:  sarcastic v. introspective?  Blogging is anonymous.  Do you really know or have an understanding of who is the author?

All Actual Life is Encounter.  Is Blogging Actual Life?

Beginning Conversation

I am new to blogging.  Well, not so new….I like to surf blogs, listen to conversation.  I am new to communicating by blog.  I desire conversation. And so…I am taking a plunge right off of the cliff….and placing my thoughts out there…. in hopes of starting…conversation.

In the past weeks, I have been pelted by stress.  I chose the word “pelted” carefully… intentionally.  I have the desire to face life, to experience, wring out the sacredness, the learning of each moment in life.  And so, I turned to face the onslaught of life.

These recent weeks were rich with relationship struggles.  These relationships included those close to my heart, and those in my working community.  So I felt the “pelting” of those enveloped in my heart (and couldn’t say with a sigh, well at least you can’t take my favorite granddaughter from me).  And I also felt the “pelting” of those who are neutral to me, but I have to work with on a professional basis (or do I?…  I tend to be the person who grabs up my marbles and walks away from the marble game, defiantly stomping my feet).

I read in an  article about trees in the biosphere.  The trees are anchored, braced up.  Because they have not experienced stress, they are not strong enough to stand on their own.  Ahhh…… a lesson for me.

I struggle all right.  I was amazed at the intensity of the anger, outrage energy that burst (not bubbled…. more like BURST) from within me.  The relationship struggles have now smoothed.  In each realm (personal/community) I sense that I experienced a wave that overwhelmed me as the situations were pushed towards maturity.  I experienced this overwhelm of the push of life and the overwhelm of my BURST of energy as a “pelting”.

And now, in looking back, what I experienced was change…. change that lead to more mature depth, growth.  If I had chosen to release, to accept with openness, these conflicts, and had just watched with curiosity  …. then I sense I would have experienced change and not “pelting”.  I may have even experienced this stress as blessing rather than “pelting’.

My difficulty is this:  how do I release into life with curiosity and still engage and appropriately function in life?