Beginning Conversation

I am new to blogging.  Well, not so new….I like to surf blogs, listen to conversation.  I am new to communicating by blog.  I desire conversation. And so…I am taking a plunge right off of the cliff….and placing my thoughts out there…. in hopes of starting…conversation.

In the past weeks, I have been pelted by stress.  I chose the word “pelted” carefully… intentionally.  I have the desire to face life, to experience, wring out the sacredness, the learning of each moment in life.  And so, I turned to face the onslaught of life.

These recent weeks were rich with relationship struggles.  These relationships included those close to my heart, and those in my working community.  So I felt the “pelting” of those enveloped in my heart (and couldn’t say with a sigh, well at least you can’t take my favorite granddaughter from me).  And I also felt the “pelting” of those who are neutral to me, but I have to work with on a professional basis (or do I?…  I tend to be the person who grabs up my marbles and walks away from the marble game, defiantly stomping my feet).

I read in an  article about trees in the biosphere.  The trees are anchored, braced up.  Because they have not experienced stress, they are not strong enough to stand on their own.  Ahhh…… a lesson for me.

I struggle all right.  I was amazed at the intensity of the anger, outrage energy that burst (not bubbled…. more like BURST) from within me.  The relationship struggles have now smoothed.  In each realm (personal/community) I sense that I experienced a wave that overwhelmed me as the situations were pushed towards maturity.  I experienced this overwhelm of the push of life and the overwhelm of my BURST of energy as a “pelting”.

And now, in looking back, what I experienced was change…. change that lead to more mature depth, growth.  If I had chosen to release, to accept with openness, these conflicts, and had just watched with curiosity  …. then I sense I would have experienced change and not “pelting”.  I may have even experienced this stress as blessing rather than “pelting’.

My difficulty is this:  how do I release into life with curiosity and still engage and appropriately function in life?

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